I am a fool. . .
You know I get depressed fast. I havent slipped into that tendency for a long time now....which I consider to be incredible! But helloooo who am I kidding..I lost my nerve yesterday. Outwardly I was doing great...but you know about "squirming within"..Its not a good feeling.
Just because the wrong guy stalks me , does that mean I am darn hopeless?? I certaintly feel so. Joph liking me boosted my morale so wonderfully..I felt on could No: 9 . I felt honoured. But this !!! God, I know I am not pretty..but I thought above that perhaps my personality will stand out ( as if that is gr8) ..anyway, this is horrible...that guy is dogged.......What he's doing makes me feel like I am a failure... a miserable failure....whatever confidence I had in myself( you know how scarce it is!) is waning drastically...
On top of that, I think I in turn stalk others....but just in the background. To compensate for the ill effects in life, I reciprocate in the same way to others. That's why I feel myself to be an utter foooool......abt Thom...I am a fool. I was reading Emily's quest yesterday...and with her I lived the rejection ...Its ..i dunno how to explain..it makes your heart heavy..It makes me cry out 'why'?
You know I get depressed fast. I havent slipped into that tendency for a long time now....which I consider to be incredible! But helloooo who am I kidding..I lost my nerve yesterday. Outwardly I was doing great...but you know about "squirming within"..Its not a good feeling.
Just because the wrong guy stalks me , does that mean I am darn hopeless?? I certaintly feel so. Joph liking me boosted my morale so wonderfully..I felt on could No: 9 . I felt honoured. But this !!! God, I know I am not pretty..but I thought above that perhaps my personality will stand out ( as if that is gr8) ..anyway, this is horrible...that guy is dogged.......What he's doing makes me feel like I am a failure... a miserable failure....whatever confidence I had in myself( you know how scarce it is!) is waning drastically...
On top of that, I think I in turn stalk others....but just in the background. To compensate for the ill effects in life, I reciprocate in the same way to others. That's why I feel myself to be an utter foooool......abt Thom...I am a fool. I was reading Emily's quest yesterday...and with her I lived the rejection ...Its ..i dunno how to explain..it makes your heart heavy..It makes me cry out 'why'?
hmm...I think this feeling will pass , like always...its in the nature of ppl to do so, right? I am no different......
I lift my eyes to the sky.....
Where does my help come from...
I see the beauty reflected high up...
and enjoy the serenity that then prevails..
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